Thank you Don for a Lifetime of Gifts

Posted on June 14, 2007
Filed Under Family |

This is photo from a high school yearbook. Don was an excellent teacher on many levels.

NOTE: This posting is a little more serious than I typically care to be on this website, but I wanted to share this with the world as a note, that it’s never too soon to let someone special in your life know just how much you appreciate them.

My Father-in-law has been fighting a terrible battle with prostate cancer, and complications stemming from the disease will unfortunately claim his life in the coming hours or days.

I was fortunate in that I was able to gather up my wobbly legs, set my jaw, and timidly speak my thanks to his face for giving me my world, before he goes, and his response floored me, with character and style typical of this remarkable man,

It was the least I could do.

Well, this last e-mail to him was the least I can do. If you knew Donald Rogers O’Neal, (check his photographic art website, Wall to Wall Photos to be sure), and would like to join me in thanking him for appearing in your life, please contact me directly- ( brian at brianshumate . com) maybe we can all thank him together.

He was truly one of a dying breed of men in this day and age- a complete and total gentleman who unfailingly left a good mark on everything he did and everyone he knew…I hope perhaps that you’ll read this, and think of someone in your life, like Don. When you’re finished, go to them now! Thank them to their face for what they’ve done to make you appreciate life and humanity. Do it now, before you lose the chance.

Dear Dad,

I know you will never read these words in this life, but you know what? I am sure you will hear them again and again when you are with us in spirit, and you know me, I just had to be geeky, and get one last e-mail out to you…

I wanted to take one more chance to thank you for all you have given this world, for the people whose lives you changed for the better, for all you have given my family and myself. I also want to say good-bye, one last time. Somehow, I know this will reach you.

There is nothing I could ever write here, or that I could have ever said to you that would accurately express my gratitude to you for the positive changes you have brought into my life.

Don, you brought a whole world of happiness to me.

My entire existence, my motivation for all good I do in this world- All inspired by your beautiful and adoring daughter, and your precious and wonderful grandchildren. I have thanked you before for this gift, but will never be able to thank you enough.

From here out, I will always look at my family differently- I will be scanning their eyes, their movements, their feelings and thoughts, and looking for you to be in there. I was always conscious that my children did really receive many many gifts from my better half. I always knew that we would have beautiful children, and I owe this in a big part to you.

My son is a little spitting image of you at two years old, Don. Everyone finds his physical resemblance to you amazing, cute, and just downright awesome! You know what, Don? Breandon makes my day light up, and to see him grow up with his little piece of twinkle from your wonderful life’s candle flame inside him- To see you radiating in his eyes and in his smile, will ultimately be the best gift you ever gave me.

You will live on in each of us, Don- but with our son, there is a special version of your presence that even extends to his physical body. When your own body is long gone from this place, his little body will grow stronger and bigger over time- his little candle flame will become a heart fully involved, burning with a passion for life just like his Papa’s did.

Whether others think it appropriate or not, (psst, I don’t give a damn what others think) I will always see him as little version of you, Don, and I hope with all of my being that some day he will become even half the man you are.

He will make you proud- I am sure of this. I know you will be watching over him with that newfound passion for a grandson that was taken too quickly from you here in this existence. So long as you watch over him, and all of us, we will succeed, and I think you know this.

So long as you’re there, steering our hearts and thoughts with a wise touch- a gentle reminder…a presence, or whisper of the right way to do it, you’ll help our family grow stronger.

This awful disease, and this seemingly permanent death is only taking your body from us, Don. Your spirit, wisdom, and love will continue to guide us, and many more whose lives you made that much better by simply living here with us.

We are all most grateful, and ever thankful for the gifts you have given us in your lifetime, and we all must learn to accept a new form of gifts that you will continue to give us in spite of your physical presence being removed from our daily existence.

Don, I want to just acknowledge some things here, now, OK? I just want you to know, and more importantly, I want to share with everyone who might have missed out on knowing you, just what kind of man you are, and what you gave us all.

There are not enough “OF THE YEAR” awards in this Universe to properly demonstrate your true nature, and the worth your life’s work.

TEACHER OF THE YEAR

I never sat in on one of your High School classes, Don- but that is because I had my own special class with you, as one of your problem students in the school of life. Despite the apparent cranial density I exhibited in life to you, and being a difficult class clown who was certainly not always funny, you did succeed even with me, too!

You have taught me more in our short time together than I could ever repay you for in a million lifetimes. I want you to know, I was always paying attention- hanging on your words and truly soaking up all you had to share. Your advice, knowledge, and wisdom was always very important to me. Thank you, Don, for being the TEACHER OF A LIFETIME.

Of course, I could now join a crowd of literally thousands who could collectively thank you for taking the time to teach us all something new, Don. Whether it was an appreciation for the finer points of Art, Photography, and style, or just how to properly care for a lawn, or organize supplies and tools, you were always ready to share all you knew, and were always so very good at doing so.

How many folks can say they taught so much to so many? So faithfully and unselfishly? With genuine passion that is rare in anything these days? Don, when it comes to teachers, you’re from a mold they don’t seem to use much any more. You are cut from a cloth that seems to be in short supply now- You are truly from the class of legendary teachers.

You had just the right mix of traits and personality to give your all, and see it take root and go on in younger minds. How many folks out there (I hope we’ll know in days and years to come about more of them) had their lives positively and permanently changed by having the fortune of being your student? I hope someday, we can all get together, chip in, and get you that TEACHER OF A LIFETIME plaque that you deserve!

Thank you so much, Don.

FIREMAN OF THE YEAR

Well, after a few months of knowing you, I realized quickly that you were not some simple everyday guy. The passion in your your spirit for helping eclipses anything I have ever personally known, Don. You couldn’t stop at completely improving the lives of kids (and the chance that they would become successful adults) day in and day out. You also needed to do this wonderful thing you do in a more immediate manner.

A LIFETIME FIREFIGHTER in addition to teaching- you saved how many lives, Don? Does the figure matter? Of course not. If an angel were sent down as a guardian of the immediate future, and the well-being of years to come, it might take the form of an emergency services worker, a Paramedic or Firefighter who is also a teacher. Don, you are the closest thing to a real super-hero I know.

By night he battled to save the lives of bleeding and broken bodies - he fought flames and smoke to save life with a courage most men simply do not possess! and by day, he assumed the mild mannered, impeccably-natured teacher role, to disguise these superpowers lest he be accused of not possibly being a human at all. how on earth did he do it all?!

How did you do it all, Don? I believe that I will never know. Because the truth is, as I’ve learned a bit about who you are over these ten short years, I already know that there is no chance that I will ever be a fraction of the man you are, Don. I can only hope to provide those around me with a portion of the kinds of gifts you gave.

Just how many people could thank that faceless superhero behind the SCBA mask or under the turnout gear and helmet for saving their future? I hope some day, we can all get together, and get you that LIFETIME FIREFIGHTER award you have always deserved. You were truly a heroic firefighter.

Thank you so much, Don.

These are two of the biggest things the world knew of you, Don- the work you did that defined who you are. Not many can reach within themselves and give up on petty and dangerous emotions or mindsets- let go of their own selves, and concentrate on the betterment of others, and preservation of life as you did for us Don.

A thousand stories from a thousand lives are running concurrently right now, Don, and they can all trace their current state to a time in the past where when their paths met yours. You can bet also, that each one of them would not hesitate to take over for my fingers, right now and type this into a thousand more words of gratitude for those gifts you gave so freely.

Whatever the ultimate reward is, it is waiting for you Don. Whether you have a deep spirituality or personal religion unbeknownst to me was a question that never mattered to me. Ultimately, that kind of thing does not alone make an individual who they are. One thing I am certain of however, is that be there any kind of rewards in an afterlife for our spirits when they leave these poorly designed and easily broken bodies, yours will be of the caliber reserved for saints, Don.

Were I a Samurai, rather than merely a half-assed geek foot-soldier, my home would become a Shinto shrine, and you would become my God, Don. Were I faithful to my writhing, shouting, and downright physically crazy Baptist and Pentecostal Holiness roots, I’d praise God! I’d scream and shout, and testify that you are getting ready to help Jesus learn to hook up hard-line, and drive engines down streets paved with gold. You’d have a special class to continue teaching- You would be a fine Angel, Don. One of the official Photographers of Heaven. Brahma and the Buddha both would smile upon you, and welcome you fully. It just does not matter- the flavor of afterlife, you belong where the best are, Don.

Wherever you do journey to from here, there will be something waiting, ready to pay you back for all of this, and on behalf all of us, who even collectively could not ever repay you for the superior kindness and special gifts you gave throughout your life.

Don, I’d like to keep going, and continue to describe how much you meant to me, but this is e-mail, and not a collection of journals or 500-page novel, like I would need to adequately show my appreciation for you. So I am going to stop soon. Some things I could not get to you in time, and for that I am truly sorry- this last chance for me to say thank you, will not be among them.

I want you to know, you were extremely important to me in ways that I never developed the courage to relay to you. We are at peace you and I, because I did have the intestinal fortitude to at least look in your eyes, hold your hand, and thank you for your part in giving me a new life. I will miss you so much, Don. Like all who loved you and were close to you, I had decades to look forward to your smiles, to those strong set gazes that wrote over your whole face when you were in deep contemplation (that I can see already in my own Son), to those corny jokes you loved so much, and the strength of honesty and passion I could feel in every hand-shake and hug you gave me. I have never before hurt so badly for someone I care about, and hope like hell I will not soon have to again.

As unconventional, or weird as others might take this, I had to send this one last e-mail, this one last thank you, for everything you ever did for your Daughter, your Grandchildren, and for me. For every life you bettered and every life you saved. I want you and everyone to know, we will be OK- we will go on, and do our best to honor your life, Don, by using the gifts you gave us, and letting you live on through us.

I owe you so much, Mr. Donald Rogers O’Neal.

One day, I will find you again, and pay you back.

Thank you so much, Don.

I love you.

-Brian

This is Don being goofy. This is how I remember him; making the day just that much better with his corny but sincere humor.

This is Don being goofy. This is how I remember him; making the day just that much better with his corny but sincere humor, and always smiling...

Comments

4 Responses to “Thank you Don for a Lifetime of Gifts”

  1. Tangui007 on September 5th, 2008 9:54 pm

    For some reason, through google, i end up on your site…

    It is well written, and Don must have been a good man, and by reading your words to him, i am sure he is also very proud of you…

    All the best

    Julien

  2. brian on September 6th, 2008 9:30 am

    Thank you for the kind words, Julien-

    I hope there are people in your life who inspire you in the same ways that Don did in ours. Don’t forget to thank them for it!

    Regards,

    Brian

  3. Michelle on September 10th, 2008 4:43 pm

    I too was brought to your blog via google. And very thankful it did. Even though this was an email written from you to your father-in-law anyone who comes across it will walk away with something great and a reminder to be grateful to all those we hold dear. Thank you for sharing a little of your father in law.
    Michelle

  4. brian on September 10th, 2008 5:50 pm

    Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my email, Michelle. I appreciate your visit and comments.

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